Allergic to Cats Need Not Apply

1 06 2012

So I went out on a date with this guy who was 43, single and never married. He said in an email that he had been in a couple “long term” relationships before, but they never worked out (he didn’t define what he meant by “long term” either).

He met me out at a local sushi bar (good start) and about 5minutes into the conversation, he starts telling me about his two cats. Immediately, I think “why are you bothering to go out on dates if your gay?”

Am I the only one who thinks a single, never married man in his forties with 2 cats is gay?


There’s something wrong with me!

30 08 2011

There’s something absolutely wrong with me, I’m sure of it now! I met a nice guy, with a decent job (who paid for dinner and didn’t ask me for a loan) wasn’t bad looking, he had a decent sense of humor, and we had some great conversation. All these things we women long for in a date, right? But there was nothing there. No spark. Nothing.

All I kept thinking the entire date was: “oh, too bad he’s not a couple inches taller!” I’m 5’7.5″ and he was pretty close to my height. I have learned that men lie about their height, so I now go to “first dates” wearing flats so I don’t tower over anyone; especially men who claim they’re 5’9′ or 5’10” in their profile.

I think I’ve mentioned this before – but a guy needs to be taller than me for me to be slightly interested. Seriously – it’s a real issue with me. That – and teeth. I don’t know why, but a guy shorter than me makes me feel like a huge cow (I am NOT a huge cow, btw).

Although I can’t pull out of my pea-brain the name of the current secretary of defense or homeland security  (would have to google that), I have no interest in reality tv or whats happening on the jersey shore, so I’m fairly certain I have above-average intelligence… so why am I so socially inept and stupid about picking men with whom I choose to spend my precious time with? Why couldn’t I wait for this date to be over so I could run home and pay my bills? And yet, the last guy I dated long-term was constantly angry at something and I would drop everything to jump in the sack with him? It couldn’t be that his height of 6′ made that difference, could it? He certainly wasn’t his lovemaking, as I have had better in the past…

Why am I attracted to men who seem to have anger issues, employment issues or some other malfunction? I’m not talking about quirks, or some issue with how they dress: these guys have MAJOR issues! I must be insane or have some florence nightengale syndrome where I feel they need me to “fix” them I suppose… Well, I should give myself some credit: I did run away from the guy who told me he was in rehab. That’s a start, right?

Why Rules Are Important (via 43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I’ve Resorted To Internet Dating!)

27 08 2011

Lady – I feel your pain!!

No, I'm not talking about those lame 'dating' rules that that annoying book was about.  I don't think there really are any rules to dating other than to try to have fun, try not to act like an ass, try not be a needy, clingy, neurotic mess and to try and just let things happen.  Yeah, obviously I play by a different set of guidelines than the ones that someone who is well-adjusted would as none of the ones I just listed really describe me. 😉  S … Read More

via 43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

ICU Dump Him…

27 08 2011

A guy definitely isn’t into you when you’re in the hospital and they won’t visit you. True dat!

I was dating this guy for 3 mos when I wound up in the hospital for a week. I went into the ER thinking I had the stomach flu, and they admitted me and had me under observation for emergency surgery (I had diverticulitis to the point where they thought my colon was going to burst). After a day of heavy antibiotics, the scare of surgery was over, but I was still in the ICU on antibiotics through an IV and on some pretty heavy pain killers.

I had left a message to my boyfriend that I was going to the ER, and didn’t hear back from him for a day. He finally called me on the second day in the hospital, asking me what happened – why didn’t I call him back? When I told him what happened he got snippy with me when I asked him to go to my place and pick up some stuff for me. He told me that it was a 45min drive for him, and he didn’t have the time in the next couple of days!

He then told me that my condition couldn’t be that serious if I was only on antibiotics and asked me what kind (did I mention he was a paramedic?) . I couldn’t read the iv bag – and told him I was too far away to read the label. He got kind of short with me and told me then perhaps I should get up and get closer to read it!! I told him that I was rushed in under surveillance and almost went into surgery the night before; I was still in a lot of pain and was on Demerol. I continued, and said “although I’m pretty high at the moment, I still think you’re being an ass, and I don’t think any amount of pain killers is going to change THAT!”

I have to say, you don’t get the same feeling of empowerment breaking up with a guy while you’re in the ICU attached to an IV… but at least I didn’t waste more time on him when I got better!!

My Wish for My Son

14 07 2010

My wish for my son when he becomes a man:

I wish for him to learn how to treat people with love, dignity and respect,
And to be surrounded with people who treat him the same.

I wish for him to learn how to recognize those who are not treating him as he deserves,
And learn how to remove those poisonous people from his life without too much effort.

And I wish for him to learn how to do these things – sooner than later.

Training a Boy to be a Quiet Strong Man?

29 06 2010

The other day I was shopping and saw this mother with a boy who looked about my son’s age (5). The boy was merrily bopping along the aisle, asking his mom a question a minute, and finally the mother blurted out “you know – (insert name here) – you drive me crazy sometimes!!”

And I had to laugh. I felt relieved, because I know I’ve done that to my son before. And have felt completely and utterly guilty afterwards when seeing his face after that comment. But for a minute – I knew that I wasn’t the only one who has done this and I didn’t feel so bad.

This boy wasn’t being particularly bad, but I could understand her frustration. You have to have a kid to understand that reaction. Someone who doesn’t have kids simply would see a happy-go-lucky kid bouncing around and chirping away – and the mother being a total beoutch. But anyone who has kids knows the limitless bounds of a child’s energy – and feels the limits of yours (energy, I mean) as the day drains it away from you. Slowly, then, each little chirpy question now becomes a drop in an agonizing game of Chinese water torture.

Kids (boys especially) seem to get this runner’s of the mouth second wind around 5/6 o’clock – just as you’re picking them up from daycare or afterschool care. And for some reason, the amount of energy they have runs exponentially in the opposite direction of how bad your day is going. It must be a part of the mother’s curse, or something, but it seems the worse my day has gone – the bouncier my son is when I pick him up.

Oh – I know there will be a day when I miss the bouncy boy… so I will hold back the next time I have a throbbing headache and he’s driving me crazy with the questions – and just maybe I’ll force him to play the “quiet game” instead! It’s good training for when he starts to date himself: women like quiet, strong men after all, don’t they?

Left Behind

22 06 2010

Never leave something at a date’s house that you might miss in the near future.

I was dating a man on and off for a couple of months in the winter. Had stayed at his place a couple of nights – and he at mine, and I thought everything was going great. I had even met his kids and all of us went sledding one weekend at his hunting lodge.

That was the weekend I lost my stew pot.

I figured that I would be nice and make a nice hearty stew for the occasion, and pulled out my “stew pot”. It was a fairly expensive (insert brand name here) pot that I got as a Christmas present one year from my mom. I’m not much of a cook, and I don’t usually go “ga-ga” over pots – but it was the largest pot I owned, and it was great for making stews, soups and roasts in. So – during the winter months, I probably use it 2-3x’s a month (which is a LOT for me!). Not that I’m sentimental, but I’ve owned this pot longer than any relationship I’ve ever been in.

So – we stayed the weekend at his lodge (actually a nasty trailer I found out when we got there), and I told him that they could have the leftover stew and I would get the pot the next time I saw him. And that was the last time I saw him – and my pot!!

He texted me that Monday and said his grandfather was really sick, and he and his kids had to go to Vermont to visit him. But he would call me when he got back. He texted me a couple of weeks later and said that he had to return to Vermont (i guess he had returned and forgotten to let me know) for his grandfather’s funeral. I asked him if I could pick up my pot before he left for the funeral being I hadn’t seen him in awhile to pick it up. There was a moment of silence, and he said “oh – you’re concerned about your pot?”

I’ll admit that asking that question right then was probably bad timing on my part… but it was hard to be concerned that his grandfather had passed when he never so much returned any phone calls or gave any updates to me for weeks!! At that point – I was beyond being personally involved in his life: all I wanted was my personal belongings!! Seriously. When someone hasn’t even called you to involve you in their life for over a MONTH, do you think they’re going to be involved in your concerns? (this was also the guy who showed no empathy or concern when I was admitted to the hospital from the ER).

So he said he would drop it off on his way out of town. He never showed up like he had promised. All that did was irritate me more about the situation: it was one thing to end a relationship, but what did he want with MY stuff??

So I did what most women would do – I beoutched to my girlfriends. My friend Julie was actually irritated at my anger towards someone’s inconsideration of another’s belongings. Her comment was “Sharon – you will NEVER, EVER get that pot back – give it up!!”. She then gave a bit of sage advice: never leave anything at anyone’s house that you weren’t prepared to throw out. And she shared with me her wine bottle story – which I will pass on in the next entry.